The Limitations of a Divorce in Florida
A divorce cannot accomplish an exact, mathematically equal division of property or equal time with children. Because no two people, no two marriages and no two divorces are alike, the judge who enters a divorce order must make the best decision by utilizing the limited time and information available. It may not always be the fairest possible decision that could have been reached, and it is certain to be a disappointment for the litigants in material ways. Divorce courts often have to make the best of very difficult circumstances.
For example, there can be no satisfactory, routine time-sharing arrangement when one parent lives in Florida, and the other lives in, say, North Carolina. Furthermore, even though a court can set visitation arrangements, Dad may not be present every Friday when it is time for Mom to drop off the kids, and the child cannot spend every other weekend with dad. There are a myriad of possible, difficult scenarios that arise when it comes to time-sharing, location issues, and communication breakdowns. Although parties can keep dragging the ex back into court, this becomes frustrating and very expensive. The emotional toll inflicted upon the family is equaled in part by the huge financial investment that goes into the fight.
On the surface, a court order is just a piece of paper. Mom and dad still have to be civil, and deal with each other to carry out the terms of the time-sharing and visitation order. Divorce does not take away a parent’s responsibility toward the children. This includes dealing with the other parent. Divorce, without more grave and significant issues, does not make an ex-spouse any less of a parent. Parties are typically required to foster loving relationships with one another.
Also important is to recognize that a divorce court cannot increase a salary to prevent the drop in a party’s standard of living once divorce is final. From an economic standpoint, it is simply much cheaper for two people to remain together, sharing expenses, than it is to maintain two separate households. Divorce will change a standard of living and there is little, if anything, the court can do about it.
Finally, a court will not be able to punish an ex-spouse, or morally vindicate a party for all the bad things that happened while the parties were married. It is easy to get hung up on the wrongs we perceive from the years we invested in another person. Moreover, the divorce process will not heal emotional wounds or even take away the necessity of grieving a failed relationship. These matters are solely the responsibility of the individual, and of course there are many avenues to seek assistance through therapists and support groups.
Florida is a no fault divorce state. The only requirements to getting a divorce in the state of Florida are: 1) that the marraige be declared by one of the partners as irretrievably broken, and 2) that the declaring party be a resident of the state of Florida for six (6) months prior to filing the petition. Property is divided according to equitable distribution principals. Also, any property that was acquired prior to the marriage or that was acquired via gift or inheritance is not considered marital property unless commingled with marital property after date of marriage. When the court determines custody, Florida judges are gender neutral in determining time-sharing and primary caregiver issues. Factors which determine time-sharing are based upon the best interest of the child.
A divorce may be just the fresh start a person may need to get on with life. In truth, “getting on with life” depends on a person’s dedication to the process. It is not something that a court order will accomplish in and of itself. Having realistic expectations as to what a divorce can and cannot do serves as a good starting point for a satisfactory, or at least livable, end to marriage.
